Letters to An Angel Friend

I remember when we used to sing and harmonize songs in the hostel. We had our trio; you, me, and Homa. It came to me when I discovered we were roommates in year 11. On the day of resumption, you asked,“Chisom, have you met Sr. Yvonne? Do you know which room you are in? ”.

I was shocked. Shocked does not cover it because that was the first time we spoke in two years. I couldn't talk to anyone when I entered the room later that day. I didn’t know I would meet my best friends for life.

“ Chisom, it’s been two days, and you haven’t said anything to anyone. Why?” You asked.

I just shrugged. I didn’t know why. That room was the best I had been in since I came to that school.

“ Don’t you like us? “ You asked another question that I didn’t have any answer to. Before I knew it, we were inseparable, and our bond strengthened within two months.

Do you remember when I had issues? When depression kicked in and consumed me, I could barely make sense of whatever was happening. You would always get angry whenever I self-harmed or did something stupid.

“ Bia, Chisom, if you do anything to yourself, I would not talk to you” that’s what you would always say whenever I had one of my tragic breakdowns. I would always choose your friendship over whatever I was going through because talking to you was like a drug that helped heal the darkest part of my soul.

We often talked about my future wedding and love life but never yours. I remember when I told you I would buy a car as a wedding gift for the man who marries you because you always said that you would not marry and all these things weren’t for you. We planned my future Italian-themed yacht wedding together, me, you, and Homa. Also, do you remember when I said I would be a big celebrity and win an Oscar before I turned 25? Everyone would always tell me that I am a dreamer, but you never said,

‘always go for the second option.’ You and Homa gave me the kind of encouragement my parents couldn’t even give me. You guys made me feel like I existed and mattered, that was all I ever yearned for, and I got it from you guys.

Afterward, when we got to year 12, we drifted apart. I know you had reasons, but I didn’t

understand.“ Chisom, I don’t know why but I don’t feel the connection between us anymore, " you told me one night after dinner. We were in class, and I just wanted to talk, but you kept pushing Homa and me away. I didn’t know what to think because I was hurt when I couldn’t help you as you helped me.

One random might prep like that when everyone was minding their business and reading their book, the next thing I heard was heartbreaking.

“ Ss3c, see if you guys cry when I die; I will come out of my grave and slap all of you and go back ", you announced. Everyone started laughing because you were delusional, and we always told you to stop saying all those things. I felt like slapping you hard.

“ You guys think I’m joking? This year determines my life. “

I was cradling my baby cousin in my arms when I was going through my phone in the village, and the name of our general WhatsApp group had changed to RIP CHINNY. In my mind, I thought you changed the group's name, so let it go. I went upstairs to meet my mum just because I felt like disturbing her. I sat opposite her, still holding my cousin in my arms and playing with her when my mum called for my

attention.

“ Ehe, Chisom, do you have any friend that has Sickle cell anemia in your school? “

“Yes. Why? “ I was confused because I had told her about you countless times.

“ What is her name? “

“ Ah ah, now, Mummy, don’t you remember Chinny? She came to my party in the summer.“

“ Are you sure it is only Chinny that is Sickle Cell? “ I was too busy wondering why she was asking me all these questions, so I nodded in response.

“ Chisom, Chinny died this morning.” She just dropped the bomb, no filtering. My mother is horrible at delivering bad news. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but then I started connecting all the dots from the WhatsApp group name, and I had to face reality.

Chinny, do you know your death was like a wake-up call for me? You know, before you died, there was a night I thought I would lose you. That night you were severely ill, and I was holding you close. You kept saying I should pray for you and tell your family you are sorry and love them. It was as if you were prepared to die that night.

You know, many people thought I was the one that died. Do you remember ******? She came up to me and said that. They said that if there was anyone they thought would die early, it was me, and somehow, I believed them. You didn’t deserve this because you valued life more than I did; you deserved happiness. You know that you and Homa were the reason I wanted to become prosperous so we would live lavish lives. You taught me that I could do anything and have anything, which is what I will do. I will

do my best to achieve all we ever wanted with you as my motivation and Homa as my backbone, I believe I can conquer the world, and we will do this together. I pray that the Chisom you helped to build, the one you brought to the light, the one you have hope in, will not fail you. I will realize all our dreams because I know you are still with me. You didn’t get to actualize your dreams because of this thing they call death, but I promise you that you will see it happen through me.